Dependency vs. Co-dependency

I recently heard that the energies we’ll be dealing with in this coming month (Feb. of ’17) relate to our issues with co-dependent tendencies. It made me curious to know more about how this may play out in my life. I’ve always been the reverse of the co-dependent. I’ve been fiercely independent…up until recently anyway when life decided to give me an opportunity to experience new levels of dependence as an expatriate.

I grew up in a home with two male alcoholics, so I am all too familiar with what co-dependency actually looks like. I’ve since spent my life rigorously defending myself from living out the self-sacrificing womanhood I was demonstrated growing up. But, I have the feeling that my thoughts on this topic are as outdated as the late John Bradshaw (sorry, John).

So, instead of indulge in a bunch of stuff that’s already been written elsewhere about the topic, I thought I would consult something that might give me a more up-to-date perspective…my Devas of Creation deck!

Before I share the results, I think it is necessary to at least define the relevant terms. So bear with me while I share the following three definitions. In everyone’s life, a tension plays out along the dependency continuum in the various realms of daily life…health, finances, work, friendships, etc. Whether it is you or the other displaying an aspect, it is helpful to have some awareness of the dynamics. If you want to know more, you’ll have to do a little research.

Dependency: the heart of any relationship. It is a human necessity to rely on and interact with others.

Co-dependency:  reliance on “other” to such an extent that one relinquishes inner authority and self-esteem to maintain the status quo of the relationship. It can also be needing the other to need us, to everyone’s detriment.

Interdependency: the formation of healthy partnerships and connections. It’s mutual benefit without one-sided sacrifice. Each person enters a symbiosis with the other to utilize one another’s strengths and resources but without losing self- sufficiency.

Now that that is out of the way, on to the reading.

I asked the deck for examples of healthy and unhealthy dependency. I shuffled, cut the deck twice, and selected three cards for each question. The results felt profound, at least to me.

What We Can and Should Rely Upon

Spirit:

We are dependent on the blueprint of life and its fundamental elements: space, water, earth, air, and fire. We belong to Spirit. We are, as the cliche goes, a spiritual being having a human experience. We cannot separate ourselves from this, no matter how vehemently we may try…or believe it to be that we are. In realizing this, we free ourselves from so much unnecessary suffering. It’s understanding that we are never not held by Spirit.

Mineral Kingdom:

Like the various minerals of the earth, we are dependent on certain conditions to be just so in order to allow our growth and development. Spirit is what provides everything we need in it’s time, not ours. And like the countless types of minerals that come from our earth, each of us is as unique, able to flourish when we know who and what we are. We are mistaken when we “try” to be anything other than what we are in the moment. We are dependent on the natural timing of evolution; it’s nothing we can force. And when we impose our structure upon others, we deprive ourselves of the gifts they came to provide us.

Venus:

We are dependent on the perceptions and experiential phenomena of life that influences our emotions, the physical realms, and the elemental realms. As defined in the terms above, relationship and therefore dependency is necessary, but what Venus can teach us if we listen is that love is not personal. It is an impersonal force that is working upon us and in us constantly. Without it, our lives would be devoid of joy and the lightness of being. Love is what makes it all worthwhile, but our experience of it must come from inside rather than external sources. This is typical human confusion, to depend on love outside of ourselves.

What We Mistakenly Rely Upon

Spacetime:

We are codependent with our sense of our physical self and physical reality as the ultimate reality. Yes, we are physical beings. We live in a 3D reality. But we are unhealthily attached to this being the only reality. We dismiss what can’t be seen or proven, often contrary to our own experience of it. This attachment to space and time results in a fear of death and loss. And as the definition of codependency states, we sacrifice a great deal of our power to the “almighty material”. We rely on material goods for our sense of worth, satisfaction, and comfort. We use it all as a measure of success only to discover we can’t take it with us the moment death arrives.

Desert:

This continues and reasserts the theme of the spacetime card. Like the person who bears unresolved issues of codependency through overcompensation, proving how independent and useful they are, this card shows us how we fight what we know to be necessary to survive and thrive spiritually. As stated in spacetime, we identify with our riches and comforts (or lack of them). We alternate between our desire for the familiar and the novel, creating an inner desert by seeking everywhere but inside…where things are too unknown. Ironically, we each need to spend our time in the desert in order to overcome our ideas that there is anything lacking in life. Our co-dependency on “desert mentality” is the doorway to our interdependence with it.

Atom:

Again, this card reiterates our codependency on the physical, on matter, on “the old physics”. We need to open our minds and embrace the power of thought to alter reality, of the placebo to heal, of waves to be particles, and of the unknown to hold unlimited potential. We are so codependent on the contracts we’ve signed to our constructs; they have become our prison. But our constructs have no more substance than dreams. Yet the way it’s been done is the way it has continued. Why are we creating the same things over and over again? Where is our creativity? The answer rests once more with Spirit, in the space between, the source of our inspiration, if we are brave enough to express that which it creates in us.

 

Why Trump? A Devas of Creation Card Reading

Last night, I decided to ask my Devas of Creation deck for some insight that might be helpful around the recent inauguration of Donald Trump. I asked three questions, shuffled the deck, and drew three cards. Here’s what resulted:

1st Question
Why is this playing out?

Card drawn: First Light

The First Light card is emergence and the dawning of new worlds. It is a revolution in thought because it helps open our eyes to what is possible; it is the flowering of awareness. Without the opening of first light, there would be no doorway into change, no new vistas to which we can aspire. Trump is certainly a call to what is possible because he has greatly disturbed well-entrenched energies in our government. He has drained the swamp, and now everything in the swamp is swimming around in plain sight. The veils have been lifted. So much is unsettled and many are in fear. But instead of fear, we can choose to see great opportunity. Sometimes it is only with a rude awakening and a crack on the stubborn head that one rises to new challenges.

2nd Question
What will the outcome be in four years time?

Card drawn: Eros

Eros is the Divine Masculine. Do you find it ironic that this card would appear in a reading about Trump? Realize that Trump is showing us contrast here. He is showing us exactly what needs to be healed in the masculine. This card is a reminder to reconnect inside with our inner divine masculine and source of strength. We are light bearers in whatever occupies our time. If we can harness a higher will within ourselves, overcoming our smallness and the fears that hold us back, we can not only manifest and become with more ease, but we will touch more lives as well. What is most important here is to be a representative of Ultimate Truth, to transcend the level of opinion, half-truths, propaganda, etc. If we can abide by the message of Eros, a world-changing healing of the masculine can take place during this presidency. Men and women can take their places as protectors and providers–of each other, our earth, and for our children.

3rd Question
What are the lessons we need to learn in that time?

Card drawn: Seed Void

The Seed Void is an “artery into a different reality”. It is deep space and mystery, what the Toltec would call “nagual”. Think of it as a well or birth canal connecting one dimension to another. It is the unseen aspects and new forces of nature that come into play. Fasten your seat belts, because this energy helps us to question our fear as well as our certainties about right and wrong, about “the other” and about ourselves. With courage, we can dismantle our false sense of self, an evolutionary necessity, and be born into a new level of trust. Indeed, this is a time to turn inward, to take back our projections, and to deal with our own shadow aspects. Those unwilling or unprepared to do the work will have an extremely hard time of it, and their resistance will cause trouble not only for themselves but for others. But if we open up and do the work, we may just find ourselves transported into a world that bears little to no resemblance to the one these others claim to live in. The opportunity to be free of the collective dream is there for those who dare to dream something new.

The Energies of 2017

Most people are familiar or have at least heard of Tarot cards. In fact, they’ve had a resurgence in popularity recently. But did you know there has been an explosion in types of divination card decks over the last several years? Now, there are angel cards, chakra oracles, Bach flower remedy cards, Zodiac decks, you name it!

I came upon the deck I now use, the Devas of Creation, last year. It resonated with me because the art was abstract (like my own artwork) and open to interpretation, plus it focused on two aspects of nature, both the manifest and unmanifest, which ties in very well to the teachings to which I’ve been exposed on my own path. It’s a fabulously original deck that covers the elements, angels, seasons, planets, and more!

I did a reading on the energies of 2017 for a few choice arenas of life. For me, it feels right on target, and I’ve since read a few other energy predictions (Lisa Brown’s among them) that seem to align with the same ideas. I hope it gives you something to think about.

The areas of life represented appear here followed by the cards that were pulled for each:

creativity – the quantum field
dharma/purpose – eros
relationships – air
health – world tree
finances – Venus
spirituality – harvest

Here is my interpretation of the spread:

We will meet our potentials to express creatively when we observe and learn from others. When creativity allows for the multidimensional to influence expression (most easily accessed through meditation or spiritual practice), we will find new realities are possible. Creativity is meant to reaffirm and extol our unity to Source. Therefore, creativity whose purpose is so aligned will flow with the most ease in 2017.

In terms of our dharma/purpose, we are meant in 2017 to be more outgoing…light bearers in whatever occupies our time. If we can harness a higher will within ourselves, overcoming our smallness and the fears that hold us back, we can not only manifest and become with more ease, but we will touch more lives as well. What is most important here is to be a representative of Ultimate Truth, to transcend the level of opinion, half-truths, propaganda, etc.

2017 is about liberation in relationships, meaning freeing ourselves of outdated and stagnant ideas about relating. Air can help clear up our thoughts and communications, making it easier to revive what still has life and release what no longer serves. Laughing and loving is the right motivation. Bring in freshness and ease.

In terms of healing, 2017 holds powerful energies from the plant world. Turn to natural and shamanic approaches to healing. It is crucial that we improve our support structures, our internal root system, in order to receive the fuel that will be required to overcome the challenges that approach. It’s all there, available in nature, but it requires our attention, respect, and reverence.

Our abundance in 2017 is governed by Venus, goddess of beauty, the arts, sensuality and relationship. She is asking us to reach out to love, to fully embody self-love and be willing to be love in the world. The antidote to financial challenges is to love more and have the courage to share that love with others.

The spiritual harvest will be evident on both an individual and collective human experience level. Those who have been practicing what we preach, walking our walk, will find a rich harvest of spiritual strength and tools at our disposal. To help correct and alleviate human suffering, we must increase our ecological awareness and make amends. Mindfulness is key as is appreciating the small daily joys that life has to offer: the sunlight, sharing a smile, a fresh breeze, all the colors of the world. These things and our ability to see and appreciate them IS part of the harvest. If we have lapsed or been hypocritical, we will be disposed to reap a very different reality.

In summary:

Here is my interpretation:2017 is about the possible differences between personal and collective reality. What will make our reality more pleasant is a wholehearted return to those things that never fail the human: nature, love, and divine connection. So, if you have a practice, cling to it. If you need a practice, find it. Spend more time with nature and let her inform you. Learn to listen to her (and yes, you are part of nature!), and whatever is keeping you from the full expression of love, it is time to forgive, accept, let go, and open.